RS: Let's talk about a few tracks on your recent albums. On
your album Spin you had a track called "Crush," so I wanted to ask you
what is your favorite 80s song?
Darren Hayes: My favorite 80s song is probably "Dress You Up" by
Madonna which is closely followed by "State of Shock," the really
tragic Michael Jackson/Mick Jagger duet and then maybe I'd have "Lucky
Star" up there as well.
RS: What feelings motivated the song "Unlovable" from your
Tension and the Spark album.
Darren Hayes: That song is very honestly and famously a breakup of a
friendship. I was in a relationship that was emotionally abusive and
it ended very traumatically. It was a letter that I wrote but never
ever sent. I wrote a poem that said my father never loved me, I know
it's not true but that's how you made me feel, you made me feel like
my father had never loved me. That one little poem put into words how
I'd felt in the whole relationship. I wrote this letter in my drafts
folder that I never sent, but instead I turned that into this song
called Unlovable.
RS: So going from that to right now where you are, how has being
out changed your life?
Darren Hayes: You know, I don't think that coming out has changed my
life as much as getting married. I think that feeling great about
myself emotionally lets me feel courageous, being in a beautiful
relationship, finding a great guy, living in a country where it's
possible to actually become partners. I think it really improved my
self-esteem. I felt a lot of shame about my life and growing up, it
took me a long time to accept who I was, so I think that as soon as I
had a gorgeous relationship then it wasn't even a question whether it
would come out or not. I got married and it was a huge part of my
life. I wanted the people who had bought my records to know this
about me because I wanted them to always see me as somebody that
respected them.
RS: The Savage Garden song "Affirmation" had the line "I believe
you can't control or choose your sexuality." Did the label challenge
you on that at all or did anyone give you any comments about that line
in the song?
Darren Hayes: No, they didn't and though I could say a lot of bad
things about the label, that's not one of them. I have to say, when
it came to my private life no one ever had anything to say. I can say
that on some level I think that my sexuality made them market me in a
certain way as I think they tried to homogenize me sometimes and I
think they tried to make me very clean and sort of all-American
sometimes. I think they were a bit concerned at my flamboyance maybe,
but no one every said anything about my private life and my sexuality
was never a question. I was never given any advice or any warnings or
anything about how I should portray myself.
RS: I see on your MySpace page that you're involved with the
Trevor project… How did you get involved with that?
Darren Hayes: Well I always wanted to find a way to use my life as
an example to show young gay kids that being gay isn't a death
sentence. It's who you are. I've been involved in other charities
before, and certainly charities with children and AIDS-related
charities, but the Trevor Project kind of struck me because it was
suicide prevention and I've been there. I know that darkness and the
idea that I could have had a phone number to call when I was as
student and talk about my feelings. Initially it came from me wanting
to talk to kids and I wanted to go to schools and just say look, I'm
an example of a happy every after. The Trevor project was right for
me to support – because I can put my name to something I really
believe in. Last month we did an event in New York honoring Nathan
Lane and they had awards of for these three courageous young kinds who
stood up against their families and communities to be who they are.
Their stories just killed me and they were just the most inspiring,
courageous kids.
RS: What was it like playing Trafalgar Square for the London Gay
Pride last month?
Darren Hayes: Oh, a big hoot, it was amazing. I'd just come back
from the States and we played all these really great sold out little
club shows and suddenly I was playing to a whole city full of people.
It was nice. I've actually been to a lot of Pride events and this
year has been some of the first times I've ever done them where I'm
openly out and proud, so it's certainly had a sense of triumph to it.
